Thursday, April 16, 2009 @ 5:45 PM
DONT BOTHER TO READ THIS,THIS IS JUST PLAIN STUPID.
I'M BEING, EMOTIONAL FOR NO REASON.
I love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
I am being love-sick.
It's kinda cute, how i am feeling.
Hi Journal of a sad and lonely girl,
I am here to rant on nothingness.
There's no one i can really confide in because I dont even know exactly how i feel.
When school ended today,
My life suddenly comes to an abrupt stop
There's no training and there's no need for me to rush over to woodlands.
There and then, i felt a strange and strong sense of loneliness.
But its not in a sad and depressing way, it just feels,
in a way, empty. I dont know how to describe.
Its not that I'm weeping or feeling that the world's ending,
it just that my world suddenly stop spinning like it did.
There's alot of people around me, consoling me and being there for me.
But thats not really what I need, because its not a sadness that I need someone or anyone there.
Its an emotion that I can carry with me and not feel burdened by it.
So now, it marks more than 24 hours since my baby has been enlisted into tekong.
I've always thought I am more than prepared for it,
because he will eventually come out after 2 weeks.
But i dont even know why i'm feeling so horrible without him around.
It feels like he's 100000 million km away from me,
and I have a deep deep longing for him the whole day.
It's also not that I regretted not spending more time with him,
we really did spend sufficient time together before his enlistment.
But it still feels, insufficient in a way.
Now i miss the way he messes my hair, bites my arm and he has that satisfied look on his face to see me in pain, I miss the way we catch every movie together and how our little tiffs never last for more than 24 hours. How his mood is always so happy and jovial like the sunshine, I love his warm smile and his round the clock optimism. And I never, never did realise how much I rely on him on everything, and how much I wish he was back here. And i've never felt like a text message from him meant the world to me. Can you hear me baby, come backkkk i'll let you annoy me all you want.
You're in my every thought,
I'm wondering if youre running God-knows-how-many-km around that tiny island,
whether youre swallowing on the horrible food there because i know how much you love to eat,
I'm wondering whether I'll burst out in laughter when i see you again with your shaved head.
And whether you're missing me, as much as I do.
I am looking forward to 1st May when he books out.
And I will survive this 2 weeks even if its horribly lonely and sad inside.
I will go back to my books.
BYE. I will feel better. I think only Chen Yaan will feel the same way I do. :)
